Signs That You Drink Too Much

-You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
-You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
-Your job is interfering with your drinking.
-Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
-You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive fifth food group.
-24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?? I think not!
-Two hands and just one mouth ... now THAT\'S a drinking problem!
-The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
-Every woman you see has an exact twin.
-You fall off the floor.
-Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger -- forget dinner!
-The glass keeps missing your mouth.
-Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
-Mosquitoes catch a buzz after biting you.
-The whole bar says \"hi\" when you come in.
-\"Hi ocifer. I\'m not under the affluence of incohol.\"
-You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
-\"BeerTender! Get me another Bar!\"